Hope vs Expectation
When the nurse said, 'I know you were hoping to get a boy, but it’s a baby girl,' the man replied, 'Oh! It doesn’t matter really, because I was hoping that it would be a girl if it wasn’t a boy.” ― Anthony de Mello
Instead of aiming to be happy, you should aim to be hopeless. Removing hope will improve performance and emotional stability. Hoping for success will only ruin your chances of success.
You might ask "Peter, how can I not hope to be successful? Should I stop expecting anything from life? Should I expect to be unsuccessful?"
Hope without Expectation
My company was having a raffle during our Christmas party. The prizes were cash, iPhones, and other devices. I really wanted to win even though I knew it was all based on luck.
I pretended not to care while staring intently at the screen with all of the names of the winners. I would clench my body every time a round of raffles was happening. It was fun, but tiring. It was an emotional rollercoaster.
I didn't expect to win, but I hoped to win (that iPhone).
Expectation without Hope
If you ever played basketball against a kid (assuming you're not ass), you would expect to win. But you wouldn't hope to win. Imagine beating a kid then celebrating shamelessly in front of them?
Remember all the times when you weren't that invested in the outcome of a situation. You would still have a prediction about how things would turn out. But there would be no hope. You would be fine either way.
Hopes vs Expectations
A hope is a preferred future. An expectation is a predicted future.
To go back to the question earlier, you can still expect that specific outcome.
- You first create a prediction of how you think the situation would turn out.
- You observe the outcome and see if your prediction was right or wrong.
- You adjust your model of the world accordingly.
Predictions are essential to navigating reality. But don't forget that's all it is - a prediction.
To hope for a specific future, would mean emotionally investing in something you can't control.
Hope is emotional gambling. It creates fears and thrills. It destroys your ability to stay focused.
Expectations help you navigate through the world. Hope can only hurt you.